The Link Between Food and Trauma in Asian Americans
As an Asian American therapist, I often sit with clients who have deep, unspoken stories about food—stories that go beyond calories and body size. For many in the AAPI (Asian American and Pacific Islander) community, food is not just nourishment; it’s tied to our culture, memories, and unfortunately, to our traumas. Let’s take a look at how these pieces intersect, especially when we think about the complex relationship between trauma and food.
The Roots of Trauma in the AAPI Community
When we talk about trauma in the AAPI community, we’re talking about multiple layers. Racism and discrimination are at the forefront—being told that our bodies are “too different,” enduring microaggressions, and constantly feeling like we don't belong. But that’s not all. Intergenerational trauma runs deep, as many of us are carrying the unhealed wounds of our parents and grandparents, many of whom faced wars, colonization, migration, or economic hardship. Acculturation stress adds another layer. For many, there’s a tension between our cultural heritage and the pressures to “fit in” to mainstream Western society. This stress is heightened when our parents, still holding onto their traditional values, expect us to adhere to customs that may feel foreign after growing up in a different world. Lastly, trauma can also come from within the home. Parental abuse or neglect is not uncommon in many immigrant families, often stemming from the mental health struggles our parents may carry, but never address. The silence and stoicism they pass down can weigh on us heavily.
How Trauma Can Lead to Disordered Eating
For some, food and eating become an outlet—a way to cope with all of these layers of trauma. Trauma can often lead to dissociation or emotional dysregulation, where we feel disconnected from our bodies or struggle to manage our emotions. Eating disorder (ED) behaviors may emerge as a way to suppress or numb overwhelming feelings, offering a temporary sense of control or relief.Trauma also chips away at self-esteem. Constant criticism—whether from family, society, or ourselves—can make us feel “less than,” which can lead to ED behaviors as a way to punish or "correct" ourselves. For example, racism and microaggressions can make us perceive our bodies as “wrong” or undesirable, pushing us to unhealthy ways of altering or controlling our appearance.
Signs You Might Have an Eating Disorder
You might be wondering: how do I know if I have an eating disorder? Here are a few signs that may point toward disordered eating:
A hyper-focus on food, body size, or shape
Limiting food intake, or eating to the point of physical illness
Feeling out of control around food, experiencing binge eating episodesEngaging in compensatory behaviors like over-exercising, self-induced vomiting, or extreme dieting
If any of these resonate with you, it’s important to acknowledge these behaviors without shame. You're not alone, and help is available.
Building a Healthier Relationship with Food in the AAPI Community
Healing our relationship with food means honoring our culture, while learning to care for ourselves in ways that serve our mental and physical well-being. Here are some ways to approach food with more mindfulness and compassion:
See food as love. In many AAPI cultures, food is how we show love and care. When our parents or elders offer us food, they’re often showing affection the best way they know how.
Use food to honor your heritage. Instead of seeing traditional foods as “unhealthy” or “too much,” we can reframe food as a connection to our roots. Eating mindfully can help us appreciate the richness of our cultural dishes, without guilt or shame.
Mindful eating. Try to eat slowly, savoring the flavors and textures of each bite. This can help us reconnect with our bodies, as well as break cycles of emotional eating.
Advocate for yourself. If you're at a family gathering and feel overwhelmed by the amount of food being pushed on you, it’s okay to set boundaries. Instead of feeling pressured to eat everything on your plate, you can compliment the dishes and ask if you can take some home to enjoy later.
Understand that your elders may be using food to cope with their trauma too. Many of our parents and grandparents have gone through intense hardship, and for them, offering food may be their way of processing those emotions. Acknowledging this can foster compassion and understanding within your family dynamic.
Seek professional support. Healing from trauma and building a healthier relationship with food is often a long journey, but you don’t have to walk it alone. A therapist who understands your cultural background can help you navigate the complexities of trauma and eating disorders.
You Deserve to Heal
Your relationship with food is deeply personal, but it’s also influenced by the broader context of your life—your experiences, your culture, and your trauma. It’s important to remember that healing is possible, and you deserve to have a relationship with food that nourishes both your body and your soul. If you’re struggling, reach out for help. There’s no shame in seeking support—only strength.If you’d like to explore how trauma has shaped your relationship with food or are looking for support with disordered eating, please don’t hesitate to reach out. Healing is possible, and I’d love to support you on your journey.
Credits: This blogpost was inspired by this post which was a collaboration between myself and Sarah Brown, MA, LMFT, CEDS.