3 Things I Would Never Say to My Clients as a Trauma Expert
Trauma is a deeply personal and complex experience. As a therapist specializing in helping Asian Americans navigate anxiety and PTSD, I approach each client’s story with care, compassion, and cultural understanding. Healing from trauma isn’t about quick fixes or empty reassurances—it’s about creating a safe space for transformation. Here are three statements I would never say to my clients, and why they’re harmful.
1. “It’s gonna get better over time.”
Time doesn’t heal all wounds—intentional healing does. While time can provide distance from the event, unresolved trauma often lingers in the body and mind, affecting how you feel, think, and act. What truly fosters healing is a deliberate process of addressing and understanding your trauma. This might include creating safety, developing coping strategies, and gently exploring the root causes of your pain in a supportive environment.
2. “You’re fine now, so that means you’re strong.”
Society often equates appearing “fine” with strength, but true strength comes from embracing vulnerability and allowing yourself to heal. Being “fine” may sometimes mean you’re suppressing your emotions to get through the day. Therapy creates space to unpack those feelings, build resilience, and redefine what strength means for you—on your terms.
3. “Well, it must be your fault that happened.”
Trauma is never your fault. Period. Blaming yourself only reinforces shame, which can make the healing process harder. A core part of trauma therapy involves cultivating self-compassion, understanding your experiences in context, and learning to let go of misplaced blame. You deserve kindness—from others and, most importantly, from yourself.
How Therapy Can Help You Heal
Healing from trauma isn’t about “getting over it”—it’s about learning to hold space for what you’ve been through so it no longer defines you or controls your life. In therapy, we focus on:
Building Safety: Creating a sense of emotional and physical safety is the foundation for all trauma work. This might involve mindfulness practices, grounding techniques, or learning to recognize triggers.
Processing the Past: Gently exploring and reframing your experiences can help you understand how your trauma has shaped your beliefs, behaviors, and relationships.
Reclaiming Your Power: As you heal, you’ll learn to trust yourself again, set healthy boundaries, and create a life that aligns with your values and needs.
You Deserve Support.
If you’ve been feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or alone in your healing journey, you don’t have to face it by yourself. Therapy offers a compassionate space to work through the pain and discover your path forward. As a therapist, I specialize in helping Asian Americans navigate anxiety and trauma with culturally informed care that honors your unique experiences.
Let’s talk about how I can support you. I offer a free 15-minute consultation to help you explore whether therapy feels like the right fit. Schedule your consultation at the link in my bio. You’re not alone, and healing is possible.